I have been obsessing about Love ever since I was 12 and fell in love for the first time. My life over the next few years could easily be fit in one word: misery. There has been nothing I have ever wanted more than to love and be loved and thus throughout my teenage years I either pitied myself for not being with someone, suffered the consequences of my dysfunctional relationships, or grieved over my past romances. It was a vicious cycle I had fallen into and didn’t know how to break away from. Continue reading
By Maggie Nazer
I learned to read at the age of 5 and eagerly wanted to start school. I entered the Bulgarian educational system at 7 and some thirteen years later I am happy I got out of it alive and somewhat sane. I hated school. I was always the brightest in class; my teachers needed someone to point to as an example but my classmates couldn’t quite stand it. Bullied and isolated, I came back from school crying every day for almost two years, before I conformed to my peer’s pressure not to stand out, all in attempt to bring myself happiness. I desperately wanted to be like everyone else. My lack of success in being likeable, combined with years of being imprisoned in school, naturally brought the thought of suicide. By the time I was sophomore in one of the most elite high schools in Bulgaria, school just stopped having any importance whatsoever. My classmates were unmotivated, my teachers even more so, school held no attractiveness, offered no stimulation. And while my mom would not let me be homeschooled because of the social conventions, I played along, changing the rules. Working at 15, running a charity and travelling internationally almost every month throughout tenth grade, I was compelled not to let the educational system ruin me. My grades were still among the best, and drinking beer at 10a.m. was not an option anymore. As I learned and involved myself in various non-formal education workshops and projects I once again experienced the joy of learning and dove into the excitement of actively pursuing self-development. Continue reading
Church, early on a Thanksgiving morning. I close my eyes to pray but the picture that flashes before my eyes is His being on top of me, kissing me. I’m not talking about Jesus, of course, and it’s not my imagination. “If love is a sin, I’m a sinner,” I comfort myself (with the lines of a song I had never heard) proudly as I whisper, “Amen.” I am thankful to remember last night precisely: our voices, the silence, the tension between our bodies, reading a book in bed together. No hangover, no doubt that it happened, no regret whatsoever. Continue reading
Man is 70% water. The rest is passion.
It was a hot December night in Bali. Loud music heated up the atmosphere even more. We were in Sky Garden— the most popular club in Kuta, where the delegates of the UN youth conference I participated in decided to spend the night. The day was long and tiring, but I kept dancing. Continue reading
— There is someone I think I really like…
— I think he likes me, too.
S: — Good. So what’s the problem?
— There is no problem. But I think he will not be up for anything serious.
S: — Do YOU want something serious?
— I do! I always have…
S: — This is right. Even your one-night stands are serious.
— Stuart! You know me too well! Continue reading
It was a hot summer afternon and the city was sweating. It was my first time in Burgas since I was little, but I didn’t feel like sightseeing. I kept on pulling my suitcase after me as Tsvety and I searched for something to eat.
As we walked the main street we stopped to listen to some street musicians- two beautiful boys playing guitars and singing rock songs in Bulgarian. There was something different in their singing as they didn’t try to sound as the original performers, but sang as if they were the first ones to. Continue reading
It wasn’t until recently that I realized how attached I am to the idea of security. My best friend since 9th grade revealed he was in love with me and ceased having any contact with me whatsoever.
What hurt the most was losing ground. Feeling left alone. Seeing how someone can throw you out of his life with as much as a wave. The most intimidating thing of all- having your whole feeling of safety evaporate. Continue reading