The simple truth is that If you are a closed-off, fearful, unapproachable, reserved person, you will get hurt a few times in life. And even if you are the most open, brave, honest and loving person, you will still get hurt a few times in Life. So, as it seems, the fact that you’ll get hurt a number of times in your life is a given. But you can still choose what kind of a person to be.
This is something Stephen Kiernan told me recently that really stayed with me and that I turn to in moments of pain. I believe it has a soothing power.
I think it brings a great relief to just accept that getting hurt is a part of the game. It is not by default a punishment. You may get hurt and not have wronged in any way (think “collateral damage” or politics, being at the wrong place at the wrong time).
I’m now working on erasing the thought process that claims “I am a good person, so this shouldn’t be happening to me”. I am who I am because it’s impossible for me not to.
Sofia in its Majesty Photo credit: Strahil Vasilev
(First day back home after 2 months in Palestine)
I don’t know if it’s because I was in the Middle East for the past two months, so my perception is distorted, but I saw disproportionally many people hugging and kissing or both in Sofia today.
Needless to say, I’m very hopefull about the future of my Country Bulgaria : )
Spread this LOVE. please : ) The world needs it. We all do.
“It is so hard to push away the desires of the heart”- my thoughts conclude. But what does the heart really want? Is it enough to just be paid attention to? Or does it inevitably call for action? And what action is most appropriate when the heart’s longing is for the Other, but we are tragically lacking the means to be able to ever understand the Other and brake away from the limits of our own perceptions, of our own subjective, distorted thoughts, feelings, notions. Does it mean than that we are confined to our own worlds, that mutuality, if existing at all, is an approximation? And why doesn’t that strike as a favorable enough of an outcome?
I’m on the metro, leaving the city to go to New York, squeezed by the bodies around me, sweating in an effort to keep my luggage out of people’s way, trying to stick out my face from the pulsating mass of people in order to breathe. Across me is a young man. He has nice features. He smiles to me, but I gaze to the side- my hair’s WAY TOO messy!
Then again I look back, he smiles again (but he probably laughs quietly from the inside) and I smile, too. At the next station people get on and off the train and we get pushed even closer to each other. He has paint all over his jacket. He’s probably a construction worker.
–The metro is the most unfriendliest place to be in- he says and I look at him again, this time holding on to the eye contact: how often do you find yourself so close to someone and never say a word?
I smile again. We talk. I leave.
We should have hugged… Or haven’t we?
Dedicated to Dannie
When you want to surround yourself with people who are not scared to dream, go out there and create their own happiness, you have to learn to let go and simply trust that human connection transcends over words, time or geography. And yes, it does.
I think the turning point of all is when you ask yourself the question: “What is the point? Is there any point at all?”.
The heaviness of this question often overweights everything else.
Yet, reminding myself of the times when I was a High School senior teaching non-formal education classes to 7-graders in a school nearby Sofia, I figured I have asked myself this questions far too many times.
Pretty much every time I had started anything I am now proud of. It hasn’t been easy. Continue reading
Something I found within my collection of letters which I once again need to practice:
What I have personally found is that The secret of living is giving. You are very close to this already, I believe.
Yet, I suspect there is a big chance that you might miss something that is not so easy to notice. In most of cases giving might lead to a disappointment and some sort of suffering. Continue reading